the piano movers
‘you gotta take out another stair.’
‘no man. we can pick it up and slide it.’
the small man and his partner are chinese and they are both shaking their heads. one of them takes a piece of strap and holds it up to measure the length of the keyboard then taking care to keep his hands in the same place on the strap puts the strap in the space between the next stair and the over-hanging staircase above it.
‘not fit!’ he says.
‘it don’t matter if you get a fucking abacus and measure it. i say we can pick it and slide it.’
‘take out another step,’ the other chinese guy says. his name is david and it’s his moving service i’ve hired to move my piano out of the basement it’s been in for the last eight years. his partner’s name is eric and they have two gigantic black dudes working with them. i get the sense that this exact crew has moved many pianos together.
‘i don’t see any of you motherfuckers volunteering to take this next stair out,’ a.j. says.
‘you did such a good job of taking them other ones out,’ stretch replies.
‘shit.’ and he takes the crowbar and shoves it under the tread and pulls back on it splintering the tread in half and sending wood shards into the air.
‘hercules!’ stretch sings, laughing at the same time.
‘this is demolition,’ david says to me, shaking his head.
‘i’ll pay you guys more,’ i offer.
‘you got some trees? you a musician, ain’t you?’ a.j. has taken his glasses off and is mopping his brow with the front of his t-shirt and is kind of looking at me sideways.
‘yeah. i got a sack for you guys.’ i say.
‘well now you talking!’ stretch clapping his hands and rubbing them together.
just then the drain in the floor backs up and water starts gurgling out flooding a portion of the basement with about two inches of water. i have never witnessed this in all the years i’ve lived in this house. it must be pouring outside. so i am moving some boxes and a guitar and the music desk to higher ground muttering, ‘fuck,’ and ‘shit,’ and a.j. says to eric,
‘c’mon mary woo. we gotta get this piano out of here before david floats away.’ and they all laugh together hysterically.
there are only two steps left in the staircase and the piano will now fit but when they try to lift it out of the basement because there are no stairs to slide it up on, they find it is much too heavy and they decide to come back the next day with more guys.
‘i need more guys. more money.’ david says to me.
‘ok. no problem.’
‘i need $1200.’
‘how about a thousand?’
‘i’m not trying to rip you off. this dangerous job. somebody get hurt, i get in big trouble!’
‘ok, ok. you guys are doing your best. i know it’s a hard job.’
‘hard job!’ david says laughing and shaking his head.
and they return the next day.
‘man, that was some good shit,’ a.j. says to me. ‘got any more?’
‘dudes you got all my money and all my weed.’
‘but we gonna get your piano out.’
and they did. two giant brothers, two small chinamen and three regular size mexicans came together as one.
‘pick it up motherfucker. do you speak english? where did you get these guys, david? they just mostly in the way.’ a.j. is glaring at one of the mexican guys,
‘pick…it…up! moth…er…fuck…er!!’
stretch is laughing so hard he tells everyone to wait a minute so he can catch his breath. they are on the other side. outside my new studio which is on the second floor. they have the piano at the base of the stairs and are about to come up.
‘1, 2, 3!’ david says and the come up one stair.
‘1, 2, 3!’ and the lift again.
‘1, 2, 3!’ all the way up. they get to the top and one of the mexican guys walks by me shaking his head. he’s thinking, ‘this is bullshit.’
but they have done it. they navigate a tricky turn into the room itself.
‘lay it on me. i got it!’ a.j. says.
‘then you got to turn it! now slide it and push it over!’ stretch yells.
‘dolly!! dolly!’ david yells and eric slides the dolly under the piano as it’s making the turn through the doorway. it falls gently down and they roll it on in.
