swimming in the coloosahatchee
i’ve passed this spot hundreds of times since my mom moved down here 20 years ago. at the north end of the bridge there is a small park. room for maybe 5 or 6 cars. and there is a tiny strip of sand leading into the river which at this point is more of a bay. i’ve wondered what it would be like to swim there. the water is so often like glass, the way it is tonite. i’m coming back over from downtown where i was hanging out with roger at the cigar bar around the corner from the bar he just bought. i just had a couple of drinks and smoked some herb with one of the bartenders, so i don’t feel that fucked up as i make it to the north side of the bridge where i see the little park. it is empty and the water is perfectly still. fuck it. this time i’m doing it and i go to the next intersection, turn around and pull into the park, leaving the car in the spot least visible from the road. i switch off the lights and get out.
the lights of ft. myers are far off across the river but it is dark and still here. i open the trunk and find the towel i figured my mom would have in there. i strip down to my briefs and go to the water’s edge. the water is not that cold but i want to get it over with so once i’m up to my knees, i dive in headlong. i break the surface and roll over onto my back, floating as i kick away from the shore. the sky is clear and there are stars. the hulking bridge is a little unnerving and i tell myslef to relax. there are no boats out here. i am alone.
after what seemed like a long time but probably wasn’t, i decided to swim for shore. the beach is dark, so i kept the car in sight and i couldn’t be more than 50 yards off shore. i’m just to where i can stand up when a police car pulls into the lot. great. instinctively, i push off the bottom and start kicking away from the beach. too late, the cop light on the driver’s side door has found me. i can feel the light on my face and it is blinding me, as well. there are two of them and they’ve come down to the shore, their silhouettes shouting and waving,
‘GET INTO SHORE, NOW!! YOU CAN’T BE SWIMMING HERE!!’
yeah, no shit……………cops.
i breast stroke in and my heart is racing. i’ll be spending the nite in jail because i’m not calling my 88 year old mother to come and bail me out at one in the morning. just great. i hope they let me put my clothes on.
‘c’mon out of there,’ the fat one says.
‘are you o.k.” says the other one.
‘yeah. i just wanted to go for a swim. the water looked so nice.’
they exchange glances. i thought they would be more agro. it seems they are not sure what to do.
‘uh, do you guys mind if i dry off?’ and i reach for the pink beach towel i left in the grass where the sand stops. the towel. stupid. that’s how they knew i was in the water.
‘dry off?’ the fat one says. ‘you’re going to need to hose off!’
the other one says. ’how long were you in there?’
‘i don’t know…….15 minutes?’
‘shit. did you swallow any?’ the fat one asks.
i am wondering what the fuck these guys are talking about and i look down at the towel i’ve just dried my face on and there’s a smudgy, imprint of my face looking back at me, like the shroud of turin. i look up at the cops and then down at my arms and legs. they are completely black with oil. my whole body is covered with oil and now i can smell it and even taste it. and i realize what has happened. i try to wipe my arms with the towel but it just kind of rubs the oil into my skin. i look at the cops, then back at the blackened beach towel.
‘my mom is going to be pissed i ruined her towel.’
